CRQ Article

Click here to link to the 2006 article that first proposed the The Comprehensive Conflict Coaching model and formed the basis of the book Conflict Coaching.

FAQS about Conflict Coaching

What is your model of conflict coaching?

The Comprehensive Conflict Coaching model emphasizes the importance of understanding a client’s story about the conflict in order to help them work through it. A trained conflict coach helps clarify the client’s present situation and supports the client in visioning a better future and developing skills to be able to make that future happen. The Comprehensive Conflict Coaching model that we use has the following elements: Preparatory Conversation; Stage 1: Discovering the Initial Story; Stage 2: Exploring Perspectives; Stage 3: Crafting the Best Story; Stage 4: Enacting the Best Story; and Parallel Process: Learning Assessment.

How long does it take to work through a conflict coaching session or conflict coaching relationship

• The CCC model is flexible in terms of number of sessions and length of sessions. What is important is that the conflict coaching process fits the needs of the client and her conflict. Usually, you want to have at least two sessions so that the client has time to apply some coaching insights outside the session before focusing on skill development for implementing solutions to the conflict. Four or more sessions are encouraged when the coach and client are working through complex conflict situations that involve polishing significant new client skills like negotiation.

Does conflict coaching only make sense when someone is in the middle of a conflict?

• Conflict coaching can help prepare for an upcoming interaction and make a positive outcome more likely. It can also be used to more enhance a leader’s signature communication style.

What are the protections for both the individual client/employee and the organization in a situation where the organization is paying for the conflict coaching service?

• Organizations often pay for the cost of individual conflict coaching services. In such cases, you should have a written agreement that clarifies information to be shared with the organizational sponsor. It could be as simple as the coach reporting that the client participated in a specific number of coaching sessions. Or it could involve the coach and client sharing specific conflict coaching content details with the organizational sponsor.

What are some examples of conflict coaching really making a difference for people?

• Example #1: Sam is talented in terms of analytical and numerical skills. Because of the considerable profits he made for his organization, Sam was promoted to a management position. Unfortunately, while Sam has mastered the technical side of business, he has trouble dealing with people and he has driven a number of promising and productive employees away. Sam found conflict coaching valuable for deciding the kind of leader he wanted to be and for being able to craft specific confrontation and collaboration conversations that he had to carryout with his team members.
• Example #2: Maria is an idealist and chose her field of work in order to build bridges with colleagues and make a real difference in the lives of her clients. She recently felt “walked on” by certain colleagues and clients who were very competitive with her. Maria valued conflict coaching for helping her feel good about her core professional identity while also supporting her in developing assertive skills, including bargaining skills.
• Example #3: Chris was tired of working with a difficult colleague, someone who may even be classified as a workplace bully. On the verge of leaving, Chris gave conflict coaching a try and was relieved to learn about a number of resources both inside and outside the organization for addressing the matter. Chris used conflict coaching to prioritize the use of other professional services as well as develop some key communication skills.

What are some examples of situations in which conflict coaching is not appropriate?

• Conflict coaching is not appropriate when a potential client is unwilling to participate, is too distraught or angry to have a conversation, or if an organization wants to use conflict coaching as a pretext for an already determined employee termination.

What does it take to become a conflict coach?

• Different conflict coaches may have different sub-specialties and backgrounds, such as mediators, dispute resolution professionals, human resources professionals, and communication specialists. Conflict Coaching Matters provides coaching, coach training, and coach certificate services that are based on a comprehensive base of research, theory, and experience about conflict. While there are no legal or professional regulations on who can use the title “conflict coach,” we feel strongly that a conflict coach should have appropriate education, training, and experience for the type of cases they are taking on and should clearly communicate this information to prospective clients.

What is the Conflict Coaching Matters Conflict Coaching Certificate?

• The certificate is awarded based on a quality assessment of an audio and video recorded conflict coaching conversation submitted by a coach/certificate candidate. The candidate’s behaviors are assessed by two Conflict Coaching Matters professional coaches, including at least one Conflict Coaching Matters partner. Candidates must also submit a five-page written statement providing a rationale for their coaching case decisions. Assessors determine whether the candidate displayed overall competence in their application of the Comprehensive Conflict Coaching model. The awarding of the certificate cannot guarantee the quality of the coach-recipient’s future work. But, the certificate attests to the fact that the coach has foundational skills and has demonstrated them successfully in a professional assessment.

How is conflict coaching similar to and different from other alternative dispute resolution processes such as mediation?

• Alternative dispute resolution (ADR) processes (like mediation and arbitration) developed so that individuals and organizations can handle conflicts more constructively and reduce negative impacts on the organization. Successful ADR resolves issues before they escalate and builds better relationships among disputants. Mediation involves a neutral or impartial third party facilitating a conversation between the parties in conflict to help them work through their conflict in a mutually agreeable manner. Conflict coaching is an ADR process that can function prior to, during, or after mediation. Conflict coaching may be especially appealing when one or both parties are uninterested in pursuing mediation. Conflict coaching is also different than most mediation formats in that the client can feel safe “laying his or her cards on the table,” develop communication skills, and take the perspectives of the coach into account.

How is conflict coaching similar to and different from executive coaching and personal coaching?

• “Coaching” covers a broad range of activities in which one person is giving advice to another for professional benefit. For example, personal coaches, sometimes called “life coaches”, develop individuals’ effectiveness across their entire lives. Executive coaches develop senior leaders by focusing on leadership style and fit with changing business needs. Conflict coaching combines a reflective and expert-based approach that is centered on supporting individuals through conflicts they are experiencing at work and/or at home. Conflict Coaching Matters claims depth of expertise in this respect. Conflict coaching is mainly used in workplace settings but is also used in other settings as well.